Miss me? : )

In case you guys were wondering where I've disappeared, I'm back. A number of unexpected turn of events in my life have kept me away from my routine chores such as doing nothing, watching TV, reading tonnes of Sunday papers, doing nothing, surfing the Internet, blogging, working now and then and, of course, doing nothing (smile). But now things are creeping back to normal so here I am.

As usual, a number of issues have been haunting my head, the re-appearance of the dance bars for one. Whatever people say, I will never see how dancing in front of drunkards and being subjected to leering glares and lewd comments is a better option than trying to acquire some skills and getting a real job. I mean, aren't there hundreds of institutions and preferential opportunities available for women in need in our country? If you have enough brains to know how to use a cell phone, why not use those brains to get an education and a job? And the worst part is, I believe a good number of these girls are educated to an extent, so what is it that makes them choose this path? Easy money? Loads of responsibilities? Whatever it is, they are not getting my sympathies.

Also, what was all that drama in banning them if they had to re-open them all over again. This will only encourage everyone who is involved in this sleaze business. I cannot begin to imagine if I were in the place of a woman who's husband, son or brother is a regular at such joints. Makes my blood boil.

On a more lighter note, thanks to Phoenix for formally tagging me, somehow the moment has passed dear. But you never know, I might just pick it up someday. Rest life goes on, cannot remember the last time I saw a movie in the theatre. Hey, anyone seen anything good lately, please suggest. Not seen Ice Age I, so I'm not sure if it's a good idea to catch part II. (I'm a bit finicky in this respect).

Can't think of a title

If I must force myself to blog today, a zillion issues come to my mind. But the things that bother me the most are related to the society we live in. Female foeticide, something that happens all around us, something that is so deplorable and yet practised far and wide, day in and day out. People kill their unborn child for many reasons but to kill someone simply because it is not of the desired sex?? Technology has only made one difference in this heinous crime, earlier people waited to see what was the sex of the newborn child and god forbid if it were a girl, she was either drowned in water or simply choked to death. Today however, thanks to modern machinery and our capable doctors, all this can be taken care of even before the girl child gets to see the day of light.

I have to wonder, all the wannabe doctors today, how many more of them are ready to commit the same crime for a handful of money. Of course, no one wonders even for a minute that had their own mother been killed in the same manner, they would not even exist. I once read a very interesting book that I had borrowed from the British Council Library. Unfortunately I do not recollect its name. It was a story set in the future where no child had been born in almost 40/50 years. People could see civilisation coming to an end. A dark tale indeed. But looking at the way people are hell bent on favoring the male child, it does not seem that unrealistic or unimaginable, that dark story just might become reality some day.

Five golden rules on how to write a successful soap for television

(This is an old post, written earlier but not posted)

Before you suspect, I assure you that I do NOT watch any SAAS BAHU melodramas. What I am about to state comes from a very miserable experience from a long time ago when I was mislead into believing that my favourite soap was indeed going somewhere. Well, that was eons ago; I am a much smarter soul now. I have learned my lesson. The lesson being that in a soap, particularly if it is one churned out by the factory run by a certain jumpin jack offspring, anything is possible. So here goes…

*Anyone can be/get married to anyone, regardless of their relation, past/present
*Anyone could be the father of any child (born or otherwise), regardless of age, distance, relation, and so on
*Divorces are a part of life, similar to performing the morning ablutions in one’s daily routine.
*Death, is just a distraction, no one actually dies and can be weaved back into the plot as and when required
*Last but not least…there ARE NO RULES to writing for television

Yippeee...I've been published

Today is a happy day for me because I was on the receiving end of some good news. I got to see my own article, in print, in a magazine. Now I have written for a magazie before but since that magazine was non-Indian, I never had the opportunity to set my eyes on my work, my words living and breathing between the covers of a freshly printed, new magazine...Aaah, the bliss!! For a person with zero-training in journalism, and at the cost of being modest, I must say I'm not bad at all. Being able to play with words is a wonderful feeling.

Presenting the Worst Indian Citizen Award to...

Last week I was watching the Black, er... Filmfare awards for lack of anything better on TV. I have always been a huge fan of these awards but over the last few years, with the cropping up of innumerable other film awards with names that are nothing short of tongue twisters, Filmfare has lost most of its charm. More and more they appear to be nothing but monumental events of mutual back-slapping. By the way, will someone please explain why we kept losing transmission each time, precisely when Abhishek Bachchan walked on to the stage either to present/receive an award or to perform?? Something genuinely fishy there I say.

The one thing I truly enjoyed was the surprise dance performance by our dear ol Dhak Dhak girl (Madhuri Dixit), man she can still give any girl in this industry a run for her money. It was sheer joy watching the lady dance, no one even comes close.

The other show-stopper kind of stunt these guys pulled on the award night was a special appearance by Will Smith. Before I make my point, I won't be wrong in saying that Will Smith is a well-known face and an international star. Now if you all agree to that, let’s move on. Now, picture our very own Miss goody two shoes Rani Mukherjee, she walks onto the stage, by now I'd lost count how many times she'd already been up there that evening, she yaks away to glory, thanking everyone between Bollywood and Bengal barely acknowledging the presence of the person who announced AND presented her with the Best Actress Award i.e., Will Smith.

As she continued with her never-ending speech, I kept thinking that perhaps now...now she will address him or say something to the poor soul. It never happened. I was shocked, believe me. Next morning, a journalist pointed out the same incident, and I believe he got it right when he stated that Rani Mukherjee was apparently upset over the fact the Will Smith had, in his wish list, mentioned a desire to meet up with Miss World, Aishwarya Rai.

Now, I'm no fan of Ms Rai. But we cannot ignore the fact that she too is an internationally well-known personality thanks to her Miss World status. And the joke of it all, Will Smith was punished for having expressed his desire to meet up with her. Talk about the height of rivalry or jealousy. Call it what you may, I call it sheer impudence and bad manners.

ATITHI DEVO BHAVA, an initiative by Ministry of Tourism, India, propagates the idea of each and every Indian citizen being an ultimate and helpful host to every person visiting his/her country. And here we see a well-known personality from our film industry putting each and every Indian to shame just because she is too wrapped up in her own issues and stupid enough to let her personal rivalries come in the way of being a good host and Indian citizen. Whatever the reason, Will Smith was a guest in this country.

All the awards and talent in the world are useless if you forget your basic values. Therefore, I solemnly award Rani Mukherjee with the Worst Indian Citizen Award for her deplorable, bad manners.

Rang De Basanti & One Night @ The Call Cantre

This is a very impromptu posting so please excuse any glaring typos and grammatical errors. Alright, I saw RANG DE BASANTI and was mostly swept away. I say mostly because the only bone I have to pick with the makers of the film is that, hey, the Indian youth is not going to reach anywhere by opting for the guns. Otherwise, it's a superb film, great music that simply lands you into a dreamy reverie (think thats redundant : ) . I particularly like 'Tu bin bataye' and 'luka chuppi', Lata Mangeshkar rocks even today.

Talking about Indian youth, I was recently convinced into reading a book called 'One night @ the call centre'. I am so glad I did, it is a very nice read, Chetan Bhagat is not only clever in his style of narration but also has a great story to tell. It is about six people who work in a call centre and one night they receive a call from...God!!

Among other things, what I really liked was how he drives home the point that an entire generation of Indian youth is being sacrificed for taking crap from callers all around the world, mostly America. I can tell from personal experience that it is not worth it. Yes the money is good, but what is the reason for that. Have you ever thought about that?

Ever wondered how America got where it is today? Certainly not by taking calls in the middle of the night from crazy, dim-witted, lonely, frustrated insomniacs. This is not an attempt at American bashing. Granted that it is a super power. But I hate to see hundreds and thousands of Indian groggy-eyed kids, who are barely out of their teens, sacrificing their crucial years taking calls. Years thay could otherwise spend either getting a higher education or gaining some valulable skills and experiance at a 'real' job. Who convinced them that the American way is the right way? That it is alright to earn money now and perhaps get an education later?

I think it's high time someone told them to take their business elsewhere. That's an extreme thought I know because a lot of money is at stake here. But the least that our leaders and so-called bureaucrats can do is ensure better working facilities or criterias. For instance, why the hell shoud we talk in an American accent. Like *#$@ those Americans don't know that their calls are being taken in India, they know alright. One can almost hear them chuckle at the other end when some poor soul in the Indian sub-continent is desperately trying to get his/her T's and R's in place.

So I say, no more American accent, yes train us alright so we can follow them but don't expect us to talk yankee.

Movies in 2005

I know it’s been donkey’s ages since I last posted a blog, but I have very good reason for this long pause. Since I’m on a sabbatical from work, I’m simple going all out with being the laziest person on the face of this planet. But its not like I’ve not done anything at all, I’ve watched a lot of television to make up for the last year, seen loads of movies too.
So, the topic for this blog is going to be movies. Let me begin by saying that all that I am about to convey, reveal, whatever, comes from the bottom of the heart of a true movie buff. And I am completely shattered to announce that the Indian film industry has completely gone to the dogs!!!

It had been months and months since I’d seen a decent movie. I was scared to open the film listing because all I saw were adverts for b-grade semi-porno type of flicks or the usual run of the mill crap. But one day I simply could not resist myself and decided to catch something called garam masala. Well, it said Akshay Kumar and John Abraham, the trailers didn’t look that bad although not too promising either. So off I went, saying to myself well, maybe this is one of those no-brainers, the leave-your-brains-at-home kinda stuff. Boy was I wrong. It was actually leave-your-whole-god-damn-body at home kind of utter crap. Waste of money, mind and mood.

A few days later I suffered from temporary amnesia and actually walked into a theatre screening a…yeeeeesh…Kareena Kapoor film, Kyon Ki. Big mistake, huge, and I mean the kind that does irreplaceable damage to your faith in making a reasonably decent choice. To spare you the details, I came out of the theatre in a semi-comatose state.

It was a horribly sad, dry spell where movies were concerned, Hindi or English. A few weeks later, my brother and I found ourselves wandering around the mall. Let me assure you, it was him, he had not seen any movie in a long time. So, he dragged an extremely unwilling soul to watch Shaadi No. 1. For the sake of decency, I am not going to use any profanities here, but trust me, I not only used up a lifetime of profane words that day, that too not in any one language but in Hindi, English, Marathi and a few other foreign language x-rated words, which, trust me again, come in very handy some times but also came this close to committing hara-kiri, pulling out my hair and gouging out my eyeballs with my bare hands.

Yes people, the movie WAS that bad.

So now we’re in 2006 and what lies in the offing for us moviegoers is as good as anybody’s imagination. Rang De Basanti seems to be something that everyone has their hopes pinned on for some good wholesome entertainment. Hmm…need I remind you guys about Mangal mangal mangal mangal…

Alright, I’m not trying to rain on everybody’s parade but just that we shouldn’t expect more than what might actually be in store. Yes, the music is great, check it out for yourself. Rehman rocks!! Rather let’s pray that at least some movies take us by surprise and don’t leave as bad a taste as that left by most of 2005. Cheers!!

Open your eyes and get real

Third world countries, like India, are often looked down upon by the rest of the so-called advanced people more often than not for their lack of progressive thinking than their outdated technologies and working styles. But I beg to differ. And I can elucidate this by the following example.

I mean what do you call the endless, obsessive, bordering-on-insanity kind of dependence people seem to have on looking gorgeous in today’s world? The possible reasons: the portrayal of the perfect looking woman (or human form in general) in media, which is highly warped anyway; the self proclaimed beauty experts; beauty magazines; beauty pageants; cosmetic giants trying to make money by selling unreal ideas…unblemished skin???...fair skin??? I mean if nature intended us to be a certain way, I’m sure there must be some darn good reason for it. I’m not against grooming oneself and trying to look your best. But I’m definitely against trying to look anorexic or ghostly pale.

On a recent show of Oprah, she’d invited people who were clearly in need of psychiatric help. For no apparent reason, each one of them seemed convinced that they were the most ugliest and unattractive people on this planet. No amount of plastic surgery, nose jobs, breast enhancements and body and face lifts were enough to meet their perception of perfection.

The above example was of course from the United States. Back home, in India, in a country that is considered not-so advanced, we continue to suffer fools by the dozen. Today, more than one national TV news channel had their cameras fixed on a man—an astrologer who has apparently been accurate on his predictions most of the time—who had predicted his own death to occur between 3 and 5pm IST. From 9am in the morning, he’d parked himself in a small temple while camera crews covered the event and people from far and near towns flocked the place to see him die.

Back in the studios, the anchors had a field day debating over the prediction with other astrologers and psychologists, playing the guessing game, all in an attempt to keep the gullible public glued to their channels. At about 4pm, the man got up, spoke a few words, and walked away to his own room. I say the man probably wanted to attend to natures call and could not wait until 5 o’clock.

Will someone please tell me what’s going on? Why are people so blind and prone to falling prey to unrealistic expectations and claims? Why is the regular man on the street—regardless of whether he/she belongs to an advanced of backward nation—unable to see that it is only the media or the cosmetic company or some self-proclaimed god man trying their luck at more-than-fifteen-minutes of fame? Food for thought I say.

Bappa lives in the hearts of Mumbaites

So it’s that time of the year once again when people from all walks of life, so long as they are Mumbaites, step across the boundaries of religion and come together to celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi. One must be here (in Mumbai/Bombay) to completely understand and feel the festive fervour and celebrations that go on for a good 10/11 days. This year, once again, we were lucky enough to be a part of this joyous and uniting festival. We had our own Ganesh Puja for 1 and 1/2 day and when you go for the Visarjan, it’s an altogether different experience. It’s like the entire city, the traffic, the pedestrians, the shopkeepers, people in their balconies, the guy in the Mercedes as well as the beggar and just about everyone is invited to be a part of the revelry. Shouts of "Ganpati Bappa Morya" never seem to drown; everyone seems to be at their best behaviour. If you want to know what I mean, try cutting a lane on an ordinary day at the risk of receiving a few swear words. But on this day, people will only be polite and humble as they collectively take part in saying goodbye to their beloved lord for the year. As he slowly becomes a part of the vastness of the Arabian Sea, his devotees crane their neck to catch a last glimpse of their lord. And then, they go back home, a little sad, but with a lot of hope that next year he will once again come home and pay them a visit. "Ganpati Bappa Morya, Pudchya Varshi Lavkar Ya!"

Mall Mania

Alright, I have got to get this off my chest, as many times as possible in fact because it is truly disturbing. For all those who still live in Bombay are well aware of the recent mushrooming of malls all around the city. Yes I love the really good ones myself but we have one coming up at every nook and corner, practically growing right under our feet. It makes you wonder do we really, truly need all these malls. Particularly, since it all seems to be happening in such a haphazard manner. Have we not seen how the outdated infrastructure of this city creaked and groaned under the pressure of nature’s fury on the 26th of July? The drains failed to do their job, the rivers over flew (The Mithi river is a golden example) and not to mention the communication lines and power supply that went dead. Nobody stops to think for a moment about how every upcoming centre of attraction is going to cause traffic jams near schools, hospitals and other places where people really need to be, on time. So much chaos and unnecessary destruction of life and property, all because no one really wants to keep a check on this haphazard growth. God forbid, if another similar incident were to take place in the future, how is this city going to survive it?

The Spirit of Bombay

How many times have we heard this before, when this city rises tall in the face of calamities such as bomb blasts, riots and the more recent rain bashing. So when the so called spirit of Bombay is applauded, it makes one feel utterly proud of belonging to what is made out to be this great plethora that is the milk of human kindness. But what happened last weekend has really stirred up all sorts of emotions and forces one to think. A city that was once considered one of the safest for women, witnessed a gruesome murder in broad daylight and barely anyone tried to stop the assailant. Why? Where was the spirit of Bombay then? Where were all those people who saved others from drowning, from starving in a difficult time merely days ago? All this really leaves me wondering as to what is really the true colour of my city.

Bombay, My City & Life as I See it

So Here I am friends, my first blog posting. The weekends round the corner and soon it will be over too, blissfully unaware of how much it is looked forward to each time. The last one was a long weekend, with the Indian Independance Day. I saw Mangal Pandey, still trying to figure out what these guys were doing since four years and what was all the hype about. Well, good luck to all Aamir Khan fans, better luck next time.So this place, in case you're wondering what's it all gonna be about. Well, lots of things, you can count on that. What's happening in Bombay (yes, I'm gonna continue calling it Bombay so sue me), what's new and nice, what I have been upto, movies I see, music, books I read, and of course what I think about it all. Gonna try try and keep it interesting, of course any and all criticism, opinions are most welcome.So keep checking in, I intend to update the postings as frequently as possible.